I Am Mark Zuckerberg
38 comments
·November 9, 2025jowea
This is why we should replace names with uuids.
keyle
okay, mr... nullptr
ed_mercer
"Ohhh, if it isn't 99adbad3-f3c8-4c52-99d8-be692c62b9db again! Man, what a blast last Friday at e128001f-9737-4245-b08b-73bc50db0204's party, right?"
swarnie
A quick tattoo on the arm and your set for life.
drdaeman
Right after we upload minds into machines.
nrhrjrjrjtntbt
Even better: social security numbers
chistev
See, someone told me few days ago that sarcasm doesn't work via text. Lol
joshu
that is silly. Obviously it should be the hash of someone’s genetic code plus the hash of the mind state vector at last checkpoint (to account for twins and clones)
llamasushi
Lol, this reminds me of a funny story. I had a lawyer whose name was Jim Halpert. Turns out he was the very Jim who was inspired his namesake on the office. Asked him about it once. His reply? "Hey, it's been great for getting clients." =)
He was also very much like Jim on the show. Fun times.
lifthrasiir
rzzzt
Close approximation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_v._MikeRoweSoft (this was not Mike from "Dirty Jobs" but a different person)
lifthrasiir
Yeah, but in this case MikeRoweSoft.com redirects to microsoft.com after the settlement. Uzi Nissan was able to keep his domain to this day, even after his death in 2020.
cyberax
A more hilarious example: https://korrespondent.net/strange/522473-belorus-soobshchivs... ( translated: https://korrespondent-net.translate.goog/strange/522473-belo... ).
mat0
Good for you, Mark! I had a nice chuckle. On a more serious note, I really feel for the people that cannot get any kind of support and try to get some help by messaging "the owner" of the social network they are in. With big companies, you used to be able to get someone to talk to you when you had a problem. Not anymore. The best you can get is a well trained LLM
avestura
Some names are problematic, like this one. Some others are lucky [1] (I know it's a joke)
[1] https://ifunny.co/picture/go-gle-most-popular-actor-in-video...
ivolimmen
Even with people that are not famous it can be difficult. My wife knows three people with the same name. So when I ask with whom are you going out she needs to add the city to make me understand.
Fire-Dragon-DoL
He should be glad to be a lawyer, otherwise he might have spent so much money dealing with the name lol
makeitdouble
On the "fake name" thing:
I felt guilty reading it, as in many past companies "Mark Zuckerberg" (and Bill Gates, and Tim Apple, Elon Musk etc) was indeed often used as a placeholder for test accounts and test data, and it never crossed my mind that we were basically training ourself to also treat a "Mark Zuckerberg" on our service as an account that escaped the sandbox or some other attack on the service.
rzzzt
Hopefully there aren't too many people with the name "First Last" running around.
whatsupdog
Lol, it's Tim Cook, Mr. President.
geoffbp
I wonder if he’s ever had anything positive happen because of it. That list looks like a PITA :)
eknkc
I share the same name with a local TV star in my country. Even that is a PITA. Can’t imagine being named Mark Zuckerberg or Michael Jackson or anything like that.
At some point there were teenager girls calling me (no idea how they got the phone number). I started acting like they called the right person and there would be happy screams on the other hand. I guess the high point was that. I decided that might not be a good idea though. Would definitely continue if my “fans” were middle aged men.
rzzzt
Michael (A.) Jackson is the inventor of representing programs in this diagram format: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackson_structured_programming
XenophileJKO
The "rich" Mark Zuckerburg should give him some compensation for the hassle.
That would be right thing to do.
burnt-resistor
Answer the question: What would an asshole do? They would buy up their neighbors' houses to make an unapproved mega compound, buy up ancestral Hawaiian land to block communal land access, and do unlicensed shit without permits making their remaining neighbors miserable. So what is right by virtue is unlikely to happen because almost all billionaires are legitimized criminal aristocrats subject to a different set of rules than average or poor people who are killed in the street for selling loose cigarettes like Eric Garner.
chao-
The best bit:
>Like I said, I don't wish Mark E. Zuckerberg any ill will at all. I hope the best for him, but let me tell you this: I will rule the search for "Mark Zuckerberg bankruptcy". And if he does fall upon difficult financial times, and happens to be in Indiana, I will gladly handle his case in honor of our eponymy.
According to the Algorithm Lords of my particular filter bubble, he does indeed rule the search results for "Mark Zuckerberg bankruptcy".
kristopolous
ctrl+u this ... there's some nice parts commented out
There's a lawyer in Philadelphia named Justin Bieber.
I'm not sure which would be worse.