Tabloid: The Clickbait Headline Programming Language

Missed opportunity to title the post/submission “Will this programming language revolutionize software development?” :)

Love the energy and keyword selections. But also probably a great exercise to have gone through that I've always considered doing

Popular in:

2020 (245 points, 38 comments) https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24578749

2024 (217 points, 29 comments) https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40964261

Now we just need the companion turing complete languages:

Thunderfoot - write screenplays for youtube videos debunking articles written in Tabloid

Fisker - Writes troll posts to discord/irc/steam community to highlight how awesome TOPIC in AWESOME ARTICLE written in Tabloid is

Shitlist - Generates awesomelists repos on github for TOPIC

DETAILS AT [11]

[11] https://github.com/thesephist/tabloid/blob/master/README.md#...

Missed opportunity for loops to be

BREAKING NEWS … KEEP READING TO DISCOVER

BREAKING NEWS! This is the perfect amount of stupid. I'm going to see if I can't convince my team to convert our codebase over ASAP. FOLLOW ME to find out how it goes.

This is refreshingly ridiculous.

Missed opportunity:

The joke should be that regardless of the program you write, nothing happens. No real signal, just like most real clickbait content.

This would benefit from combining the literal rules from TrumpScript [0]:

> All numbers must be strictly greater than 1 million. The small stuff is inconsequential to us.

[0]: https://github.com/samshadwell/TrumpScript

It’s been too long since something like this has happened. Kudos.

this is hilarious, thanks for the laughs!