Skip the exit interview when you leave your job

It's possible but it's not really up to you. I had an experience I could describe almost exactly the same as yours. I later found out from a friend who stayed that my feedback was used in some sort of failed management coup between VPs I had never met or interacted with. But it associated me with that conflict, and one particular side of it.

I've thought about this a lot over the years but I don't think I had any information I could have used to predict this outcome. All the people and relationships I could observe were healthy and professional. But it continues to affect me professionally; the company was large and well known in my area and industry, people who worked there then are all over now. I don't give sincere feedback anymore.

I try to just give honest feedback, and I don’t feel badly about it or worry about blowback.

For example, I applied at a company for a fairly high ranking position and did really well. The technical co-founder said I gave the best performance he’d ever seen on their code exercise. The internal recruiter said I was the first candidate he’d ever given the maximum score to.

Then I had one round where the interviewer showed up very late and was instantly rude. Would barely even talk to me. He had this disdainful look on his face for the whole interview.

The internal recruiter called me after and was basically like, “What the hell happened in that interview? Everyone loved you and said you were amazing. Now Chuck (not his real name) said you’d be a bad hire. What is going on?”

They still made me an offer, but the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth, so I went elsewhere. But apparently a couple of pretty high ranking people were pissed that I walked away, and there were some consequences.

Should I feel bad about that? Honestly, I’m glad. Their interview process was broken, and I hope I improved it so this shit doesn’t happen to anyone else.

If that's true, why didn't you give that feedback while working there? Sweeping changes in leadership - if that's true they might hired you.

Black balling is only for the rich and powerful...dont try it please, you need them to survive.

I agree, you dont need an exit interview but the logic everyone is parroting is how sociopath keep entrenched

Then count the costs. If it is worth more to you to leave such feedback and improve their world, it's always your choice.

However, you should also be either convinced that HR gives a crap, or that any potential outcomes are acceptable, including but not limited to being moved into "unregulated attrition" status, losing the ability to be hired by the same company in the future, having your words potentially turned into a lawsuit against you, etc. Unless you have actual, legal, signed documentation in place giving you such assurances, these are all on the table.

One time I got two months severance for complaining in my exit interview.

The only possible way to help is by providing positive reinforcement. “I loved working with X. Y is really killing it on her KPIs.” I am otherwise in agreement with TFA.

>I guess I would counter with if I have friends there, I would like their lives to be better. If my exit interview is able to do that, then I would take that as a net positive.

If you had any confidence your feedback would be listened to and actioned on, why would you be leaving?

It's happening whether you participate or not.

Work should be transactional. You owe your employer nothing beyond what you're contractually obliged.

The necessary and sufficient conditions for game theory to apply to a situation, any situation whatsoever, anywhere in the world, is two or more human beings in communication. That's all.

Sometimes the "game theory bullshit," as you put it, is more evident and sometimes less so. But it's always there.

I kind of agree with you. On the one hang OP is logically correct, on the other it's very sad and a form of a tragedy of the commons. If everyone gave candid feedback we'd all be better off.

You're right that American companies have a lot of game theoretic bullshit going on, but in my opinion this is just straightforward interpersonal advice. It boils down to saying "it's not you, it's me" when you're dumping someone, which is a time-worn trope for a reason.

Is it also why American companies pay multiple times as much as whatever alternative market you're thinking of?

Yeah. And on that note I've given the "I don't think my issues with this company's processes are the fault of the individuals I work with or report to" interview before.

Even if they don't give a shit it's literally their job to track this stuff and notice that everyone says manager X is a dick or that people across unrelated teams complain about some top down initiative. It's like a bug report. They probably already know but putting numbers to it helps.

People who give a shit always get burned. Being too emotionally invested with your employer, as an ordinary salaried employee with a bounded upside, is basically a modern day mental illness.

I once worked for a guy who who literally destroyed his company because his wife wanted a bigger house. He put the companies finances in a precarious position by sucking out capital at the wrong time and 8 people (the entire company) lost their jobs.

I've worked at a company where the team wasn't hiring (no budget), but suddenly one of the department heads old mates gets hired. A month later someone else on the team gets laid off for no apparent reason. Dead mans boots.

I've worked at companies where non-compete clause's were weaponised. They'd be enforced for long enough to torpedo any competing offers (which you're required to disclose on resigning) and then released, leaving you unemployed without support.

Lying in an exit interview is also an exercise of freedom.

Once I am leaving, I am not being paid for my sincerity. They should know why they suck, I am not going to do consultancy for free.

What makes anyone a slave to future wage payers is not the sincerity of exit interviews (or lack thereof). It is the bills, they keep coming.

>"the moment you’ve handed in your resignation, that part of your life is over. There’s literally no upside in doing anything other than smiling and getting out of the door."

From a purely selfish point of view, you're usually right. That said, if the organization is functional, (and yes, I know that's a big 'if',) such an interview with a departing team member can provide valuable feedback that might lead to improvements for the remaining team members.