Roald Dahl on the death of his daughter (2015)
33 comments
·March 5, 2025croissants
I'm not sure what word to apply to facing three familial tragedies, any one of which might seem like more than a life's fair share of misfortune, with that kind of perseverance. Inspiring is too glib, inhuman is too alienating. Whatever kind of mettle that is, I hope to never have to prove it.
rakejake
People are products of their environment. There are people with mettle/grit and then people who are more sensitive to perturbations of fate. The society they live in sets the base level of grittiness that you can expect any average person to be equipped with.
Dahl here is a very hardy man who approaches these issues in a very practical and logical way. But this was also in the post WW2 era where millions died, people lost their families and possessions, and had to start their life anew. It was a period of rebuilding after the devastation of war and hard times build hard people.
Today, all this feels like too much because we were all mostly born and brought up in wealth and prosperity. We have not seen any real hard times and there is no need for mettle.
nxobject
In these times the saddest tragedy here is that Dahl was so preoccupied with medical care and expertise for his family – and the one time he let up, his daughter died because his brother-in-law thought "let the girls get measles[...] it will be good for them".
jessekv
Lots of people still think this way about chickenpox, and I have no idea why.
In the US, vaccination for it is prevalent for years now (in a rare win for preventative health there).
Many other countries: "Chickenpox (and risk of shingles) will be good for you..."
JetSetWilly
You have it the opposite way round. The UK (for example) never gave a chickenpox vaccine because it reasoned to do so increases the risk of shingles, and shingles is more serious than chickenpox. Also chickenpox is so mild that administering a national vaccination programme is of dubious benefit, the money can be more effectively spent elsewhere.
The JCVI might have recently changed recommendation but whether it is worth the cost/benefit is another matter.
croes
Are you sure?
It seems quite the other way around.
Some other countries just lack the possibilities to vaccinate while the US could but people refuse in favor of „natural“ immunity.
Hence two dead children because of measles.
Smithalicious
Here in Europe, or at least in the Netherlands where I grew up, chickenpox isnnot vaccinated for, and of course the reason is not "lacking the possibilities".
I don't have a stance on the matter, other than "I and everyone I know caught chickenpox as a kid and we turned out alright".
fumeux_fume
> “Let the girls get measles,” he told her, “it will be good for them.”
Eerily ominous.
Red_Comet_88
I am thankful that there are some challenges that providence has deemed fit to deny me.
LarsDu88
I think your confusing providence with medical science in the form of vaccinations, blood thinners, and Mr. Dahl's contributions to hydrocephalus relief
praptak
Science is great but there are still plenty of diseases and lots of other stuff that leads to tragedies.
If you happen not to have to deal with any of this, it is still just providence.
croes
Chance
cafeinux
A child could die from cancer or from falling while playing, and no vaccination or blood thinner can prevent this. I can understand op's reference to providence in not having to face these tragedies.
croes
I think parents means not dying from measles thanks to vaccines.
One risk less.
khazhoux
The providence of being here and now, a time where those exist, a country where good medical care is available, and the means to afford it.
nxobject
I can see a little bit about what inspired the "spark" of his children's books – love, but also a need for escapism, normal but heroic figures in the middle of bewildering and impossible situations, nurturing. It think Danny, Champion of the World, was the first children's book he wrote approximately after this time period?
bosky101
I had no idea. Was most of his work before or after these tragedies. Hope he had a peaceful death himself financially not in turmoil.
I hope most of the pain and death we see in the world today seem like solved problems many years from now. Much like the health issues faced by his family.
mmaunder
I had no idea Roald’s life was mired in such tragedy. Stephen King’s book on writing is autobiographical and worth a read. Similar revelations if you don’t know much about him.
morkalork
The fascinating thing about Roald Dahl is that the children's books he wrote are the least interesting thing about his life and when you try to tell anyone about it they just look at you dumbfounded because it sounds so unbelievable.
stevenwoo
His two autobiographical books a still a really good read today, and they only cover his life up to about world war 2, which he was extremely lucky to survive. Dan Stevens does a good job narrating the latest audiobook versions my library has.
LarsDu88
I was shocked to learn that he was not only a fighter pilot, but also married an academy award winning actress and coinvented a valve used to help brain damage patients recover
GJim
> not only a fighter pilot
He wasn't "only" a fighter pilot.
He was a fighter Ace, having five confirmed air-to-air kills. (And possibly more unconfirmed in the Battle of Athens).
alexey-salmin
Damn this is so painful to read
praptak
It is, yet I still feel I'm better off having read it. A real life person having this kind of strength in the face of tragedy makes one more optimistic.
We could do with wider knowledge of a complicated man. My friend's husband wrote a fabulous play about a short period in Dahl's life centred around antisemitism, which was directed by Nicholas Hytner at the Royal Court. I suspect that it was done to improve public relations after various overblown controversies there, but that is not to take away from the writing and performance.
The other context around Israel invading Lebanon in 1982 was given to me (I was too young at the time to have a clue about anything) by another (Jewish) friend, a biographer of Primo Levi, who said, "I believe Israel had the sympathy of the world until they invaded Lebanon," in a conversation about how those who claim to be virtuous by invoking victimhood.
Dahl never invoked that himself, but with wider knowledge of his life and a more critical view of Israeli history, we can see what a complex polarized mess this is with little chance of redemption for either, although it is interesting that one man has generated disproportionate column inches compared to a country.