'Everybody is looking at their phones,' says man freed after 30 years in prison
180 comments
·February 23, 2025runjake
conception
I did a week without my phone and it was astonishing how uncomfortable I was with… doing nothing. The act of just waiting for anything made me instinctively reach for the phone and when it wasn’t there… it was uncomfortable to not get that hit. Even after a week, it hadn’t gone away.
Addicted is right.
#sentfrommyiphone
Ancapistani
Before smartphones, I carried a book wherever I went for just this reason. I was bullied mercilessly for it, but didn’t care - that’s preferable to being bored.
kamaal
>>I carried a book wherever I went for just this reason.
This was considered a respectable way of telling people to not disturb you only a while back.
rightbyte
Ye. I mean it is bad for us as individuals and collective to constantly have an internet connected computer available.
I don't know what we should do about it though. Like any cure would be to authoritarian for my taste. Hope for culture change? Like how fronting the TV as the center of your family life at home is not hip anymore.
joquarky
What happens when nearly everyone is suddenly addicted to something?
I remember much talk of "internet addiction" in the late 1990s, but rarely hear much of it anymore
MichaelZuo
Why should there be something plausible to “do about it”?
That doesn’t seem like the default for most things in the universe.
dakiol
Was that feeling happening constantly at any time or only during the time you didn’t have anything else to do? I do plenty of physical exercise during the day, and I don’t like to take with me the phone (because it’s big). When I go out for a walk I don’t take my phone with me (I walk around 40 min/day). When I read I don’t have my phone near me. Now, when I have done all the things I wanted to do during the day and it’s time to sit on the sofa, yep, I take my phone and I would get bored without it I think.
conception
Mainly when unoccupied, yeah. Brain didn't like not having something engaging with it.
zingababba
I did a month, it was actually surprisingly easily. The worst part was actually pissing off a bunch of people that couldn't reach me easily any longer.
Ey7NFZ3P0nzAe
This describes craving, which is only one of the addiction criteria
nabla9
Even when people are not looking at the phone, they need to know it's nearby.
Some young people feel anxiety without their phones to the level they don't go out even for a few minutes without a phone. They still lose their phone inside their homes, but they feel comfortable because they know it's nearby. But if you are asking someone to come to help carry something, takes max 2 minutes, and they refuse until they find their phone. It is same for taking out the trash, and visiting the nearby shop (5 min max).
selfhoster
> Even when people are not looking at the phone, they need to know it's nearby.
Ugh..I felt like I was on the high ground until I read that.
koakuma-chan
I can't pay for anything without my phone.
kennysoona
Seems like a silly self-imposed limitation.
chabes
Yikes. Sounds reckless. You don’t keep emergency cash?
RandomBacon
Do you need your wallet to take out the trash?
silisili
Serious Q, what are most people doing with their phones so much? Social media? Work? Watching rando YT vids?
My wife's vice seems to FB, but unsure if that's what everyone else is doing.
runjake
Not scientific, but when I snoop, I most often see the thumb scrolling and various incarnations of the video shorts apps like TikTok, YouTube Shorts, Instagram, and Snapchat.
netsharc
Probably any of the above except work? It's indeed a tool for any kind of distraction you want/whichever road you take (i.e. whichever app you open) you'll find said distraction. HN counts too. (Ironically I'm typing this as I sit on the toilet.).
silisili
I agree on HN, though I think it's markedly different as it moves slow enough that you can just check it once or twice a day and get most everything you want. Whereas a lot of other social media is an unlimited feed of everything, ephemerally, and can make you feel like that if you blink, you'll have missed something.
I do check HN from my phone, typically in the mornings and night when I have downtime and don't want to watch TV or read a book. But I can't say I've ever been at a park, bar, or airport lounge and just itching to see what was going on HN this second.
therealdrag0
I check work slack a lot tbh.
pupppet
Doomscrolling and making myself miserable.
soupfordummies
Yeah it truly is astonishing how constant and ubiquitous. Occasionally I'll be out somewhere and I'll have that moment of clarity and just notice it and see it for what it is. That's usually only when my phone is dead or not on me though :\
kvakerok
[dead]
onionisafruit
… oops didn’t mean to comment and can’t delete this
qingcharles
I just spent several months helping someone who got released after 40 years. He got used to smartphones very quickly. He'd seen them in movies and TV, and they have tablets in most prisons these days to download music and movies and do texting.
Had to teach him how to pay with a debit card and PIN for everything as that wasn't a thing before he went in.
Humans are very adaptable.
idoubtit
Indeed, while still in jail, this man surely knew smartphones existed. And, of course, basic usage of a smartphone is easy; it wouldn't be addictive if it was hard.
The point of this (low quality) article was that, after 30 years far from the usual life, the man points out juste 2 changes during the period: "Everybody is looking at their phones" and a 2023 wildfire. He knew people had smartphones, but I guess he didn't not know to what extent. It's a/the most important part of the life for many people.
Last week, I saw a couple riveted to their screens while walking their dog on the river's edge. The woman didn't raise her eyes when she caught and threw the stick the dog had brought. I wondered how the dog could be so obviously excited, despite the lack of attention.
andrewinardeer
> I wondered how the dog could be so obviously excited, despite the lack of attention.
I don't know how strong your prey drive is, but for me, chasing a thrown stick and returning it to the boss is good fun.
IIAOPSW
The dog fully understands that the phone is the humans stick.
mingus88
Yeah that’s true. Movies and TV would not be very engaging if the characters were doing real life stuff like walking around face down barely aware of anyone around them.
So we depict this romantic view where the phone can do everything we need but nobody is addicted to it
kflgkans
stick is life
mingus88
The UI for smartphones was also designed for the lowest common denominator. It’s so intuitive that we laughed at my toddler as she tried to swipe on a physical picture frame to see the next photo.
I would imagine it would be much harder to adapt to T9 input. My boomer parent stubbornly refused to adopt cell phones early on and that mindset crippled them as the world pivoted to apps and touchscreens.
qingcharles
Even I, who spent 10 years using T9 at a very speedy clip on a daily basis, has trouble with T9 now when I occasionally have to use it. We forget how tricky some of these things actually were until we got used to them.
creer
Sci fi authors imagined future worlds where reality would be masked by drugs.
The drugs have arrived. They just take the form of phone and computer screens which keep games, forums, but even selective news true or fake in front of our eyes, sometimes BS office memos. We don't know how to make drugs alter our vision, mood, perception of the world to outright provide a "better" one. But we don't really need them. We know how to achieve that with screens and software. (And for the rest, SSRIs and such can alter our mood without even bothering to change the stimulus.)
It is surprising when you look up (from your screen) in the train and see everyone captured by their own reality - which is our new shared reality? Kind of? Pretty close for sci-fi.
The BS office memo asks us to justify our usefulness by Monday fist thing or report to reactor shielding (too soon? too soon.)
ttul
“All right already. Let’s see. Give me a second.” She scratches her chin while a wild animal screams within the Save-On. “I know—I remember when I first woke up how people kept on trying to impress me with how efficient the world had become. What a weird thing to brag about, eh? Efficiency. I mean, what’s the point of being efficient if you’re only leading an efficiently blank life?” I egg her on. “For example?”
…
“People didn’t evolve. I mean, the world became faster and smarter and in some ways cleaner. Like cars—cars didn’t smell anymore. But people stayed the same. They actually—wait—what’s the opposite of progressed?”
Excerpt From Girlfriend in a Coma Douglas Coupland This material may be protected by copyright.
Mistletoe
I think a society was just not meant to be this connected. When a brain is this hyperconnected you get problems and the world hyperconnected becomes sick.
>A hyperconnected brain is a brain with increased connectivity between regions, or hubs. This can be a response to neuropathology, such as autism, depression, or schizophrenia.
>Hyperconnectivity in the brain can contribute to epilepsy by increasing the likelihood of seizures. This can occur due to a number of factors, including injury, disease progression, and changes in brain structure.
The world is in one big epileptic fit right now due to tech hyperconnectivity and I’m unsure how to fix that.
AndriyKunitsyn
Perhaps in the future, governments could put strict caps on the amount of data one can download. For example, 1GB and no Internet for a person for the rest of the month.
anonym29
This is some kind of sadistic dark humor, right?
joquarky
The road to hell is paved with good intentions
kylecazar
Not sure if serious or making a point
RHSman2
There is no meant. We are evolving into what we create.
mikeh1111
I hate my phone. For years I've been mad at the content on the device - the interruptions - but I realized that was all misplaced.
I hate the device and ecosystem itself.
Felt right to finally figure that out
fallinditch
I know that feeling.
It takes some self discipline and effort to use our phones in non-unhealthy ways. I'm still working on it myself: to configure software, notifications, reduce mindless scrolling.
I'm naturally curious and so I often find myself asking an AI chat bot about things: sometimes about random stuff but more often my AI chats are aligned with my learning goals, and I love that proximity to knowledge. I guess this could become a somewhat unhealthy behavior, but I don't consider it a problem yet.
For me the most important thing is to be mindful of the power and addictive tendency of our phones, and crucially for me: to use the phone as a tool, especially for creative endeavors.
bmacho
The sad thing is that children are forced by the school to register google, facebook, and share stuff there. One can say that it is a matter of willpower, but I'd say that it is more like forcing them to carry drugs around and expect them to stay away from it.
mattlondon
Genuine question: why didn't you just turn notifications off and logout/delete yourself from social media?
It's not hard.
The devices are amazing tools, just don't use social media and you'll be fine.
markus_zhang
Electronics is an escape for people who don't like talking to other people.
Turns out most of us don't like talking to others.
I definitely don't. I enjoy online interactions way more than face to face.
jackcosgrove
I don't dislike talking to others. It's just hard for me to say what I want to say at the speed of normal conversation. I write more slowly and carefully, can edit what I've drafted, and check facts too, all before I hit the submit button.
kennysoona
You just need to find the right people to interact with, people who can match your pace and preferred level of articulation. It's not like they don't exist.
markus_zhang
I just want to mention that although in general I dislike f2f communication, I'd love to talk about technical stuffs or hear other people passionately talking about technical stuffs. But again most people don't really have the luxury to find the right people to interact with. We weaklings don't control our own fate.
kshacker
I posted something similar to what you said just a few days back although not exactly in those words: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43083345#43085603
1) I would always struggle to interject in time due to slow processing, and 2) I could write better than others because I could edit.
However, this changed / improved over time. And I have a sneaking suspicion that it changed after I had stents placed giving me more oxygen supply. I believe many parts of my life changed around the same time. Not immediately but over the next year or 2, it has now been 9 years. This could just be life eventually connecting all the neurons in the right way, and of course I do not recommend getting stents as an experiment, but I wonder if apart from this being how we are built, there may be fixes (herbs or surgeries) that may be able to improve this.
markus_zhang
This is a good point.
koakuma-chan
This.
JKCalhoun
I'm a people-watcher. People are so much more interesting to me than a phone.
markus_zhang
Sure, people are different.
gatane
Parasocial relationships are a thing, later I've been way too fond of Twin Peaks or some streamers, for instance.
ramon156
I thought the same in HS until I found the right people. Online will never hit the same as a true friend group irl
dwaltrip
Electronics are the ultimate distraction. Turns out we really like distracting ourselves.
kennysoona
> I enjoy online interactions way more than face to face.
It means you haven't met the right people yet, and that's a shame. Not just for you but for so many people missing out on the best parts of life.
GeoAtreides
how do you know your online interactions haven't perverted your taste for talking to other people?
markus_zhang
I don't. But I know from childhood I don't enjoy that.
RHSman2
Did any child? I think by the time we die we should have achieved some understanding and love with connecting with other humans by the tools given to us. It might be somewhat uncomfortable but the pros outweigh the cons. For the most part, authentic experiences aren’t digital but the current generation are loosing what is. In my opinion.
zimpenfish
> Turns out most of us don't like talking to others.
But...
> I enjoy online interactions way more than face to face.
...that's still talking to others. Just in a different, er, arena.
tgv
No, it isn't, by no definition of the word "talking." It's a lame excuse for persisting in bad behavior.
markus_zhang
You can interpret it this way but it is definitely different from f2f talking.
JoeAltmaier
Says this man who's lived 60 years. Don't have to be in prison to notice it's an epidemic.
azundo
I've recently tried to get into urban sketching and spending any time observing figures in an urban scene makes this immediately obvious. So many people staring at phones everywhere you got. I'm equally guilty but once you start looking it is quite stark.
Symbiote
I notice it most when the situation is different to my memories.
Earlier this week I took a bus at school ending time. Several children — roughly 8-12 years old — spent their whole journey on their phones.
conductr
This is sad to me as the school bus was some of the best memories of my childhood. I don’t even know why particularly, but I think after being in cooped up in school all day we just got to act like fools and joke around on the bus. We even did this thing where we’d run as fast as we could to get the back seats of the bus.
Having typed all that I realized my kid is in a bus free school, we parents are responsible for transportation, and he’ll never even experience it at all. I’m sure he won’t miss it. Was more of a sign of the times for my era than a necessity for a good childhood but, if you’re on a bus with dozens of peers and all glued to your phones, it does feel like some missed opportunities
Symbiote
> we parents are responsible for transportation, and he’ll never even experience it at all. I’m sure he won’t miss it.
Taking a normal city bus home from school was wonderful for me. I think it was the first time I had some independence from my overprotective parents.
I could "miss" the bus, which gave me 15 minutes to look round the Warhammer shop (or similar) before the next bus.
I could more-or-less spontaneously go to a friend's house and phone my parents from there — they wouldn't be left waiting to pick me up from school.
thrance
Has this man really been wrongly jailed for 30 years? That's the insane thing here.
artursapek
yeah they totally glossed over that detail lol. what a tragedy.
codr7
I've stayed at a Yoga school for up to 6 months straight.
Best part, all gadgets are locked up in a safe on arrival and returned when you leave.
sinuhe69
“getting used to just how connected people are now.”
Ironically, I think we have never been as lonely and isolated as we are now.
Ferret7446
I'm going to be honest, as a bookworm growing up, I feel a little bit of twisted satisfaction from this. I was treated as odd for having my nose in a book all the time. WHO'S THE ODD ONE NOW?
Commenters are criticizing the man for knowing that cell phones exist and for being surprised by it.
I bought smartphones before the iPhone.
I stood in line for four hours to buy the first iPhone (never again).
I still use an iPhone.
Yet, I am regularly surprised by how often everyone is looking at their phones.
(Context: I live in a rural area outside a metro area and don’t go there often, except for work.)
When their kid is at a crowded city park, the parent is glued to their phone.
When their kid is performing, the parent is glued to their phone, their thumb scrolling.
During any break from activity, they whip out their phones.
I used to be skeptical about the claim that devices contribute to societal brain rot through dopamine hits. However, the more I pay attention, the more I notice it. Even though I'm quite disciplined, I still catch myself instinctively pulling out my phone.
I can easily see this man having that sincere thought. You know smartphones exist, but you have no idea how much they are used.
I truly believe we are at a stage where one could argue that smartphones qualify as cybernetics.
1. Insofar as no apps on phone, minimal social media usage at all, and willful focus on a return to my 70s/80s roots where I embrace active boredom doing nothing.