Show HN: DeepSeek My User Agent

> Okay, let's tackle this roast based on the user's data. First, I need to pick the three most unusual bits. The user is using Safari 17.6 on Mac OS 10.15.7. Wait, macOS 10.15 is Catalina, which is pretty old now—like from 2019. That's a bit outdated, so that's unusual. Next, the screen resolution is 1024x1366. That's a taller screen than usual. Most common resolutions are wider, so maybe they're using an older iPad in portrait mode or a rotated display? That's quirky. Referrer is empty, meaning they came directly here. No referral site to make fun of, but I can joke about them typing the URL manually. Also, their location is Calgary, Canada. Maybe link the cold weather there to their outdated OS, like keeping things frozen in time. Combine all that into three concise sentences. Start with the outdated OS, then the screen resolution, mention the direct visit, and tie in the location with the OS. Make sure it's funny but not mean. Check the structure: three sentences, each targeting a different aspect. Let me put it all together.

> Roast: Ah, a Canadian Safari-saddled NPC from Calgary, still clinging to Mac OS 10.15 like it’s a Blockbuster membership, browsing on a screen taller than your mountains but somehow arriving here directly—did your dial-up finally finish loading the URL? (Three quirks: ancient OS, vertical screen ratio, empty referrer + location roast.)

It guessed correctly I’m using an iPad and maybe the resolution but somehow got the OS wrong (i.e. if I’m on an iPad I’m not using MacOS). I am still on iOS 17 so it got that I’m not on the latest but made a mistake since 10.15 is the latest MacOS release. The location is also way off.

"You spent 46 seconds lurking on Hacker News just to end up here with your four Chrome cores and Linux OS in the tech capital of San Jose—did you compile the courage to click? Your 8.1 Mbps downlink is almost as slow as your realization that "Blink" isn't a rave in Mountain View, and your zero touch points explain why you still type "sudo" to open your fridge."

:sob: I'm getting roasted by an AI

> your Danish language setting in Croydon screams "I VPN to Copenhagen for overpriced pastries."

First time an LLM made me laugh

> Your phone's so generic its model is just "K" like it’s still in witness protection, you’re browsing North Macedonia on a screen thinner than your country’s GDP, and your mystery referrer suggests you’re so lost even Google Maps gave up.

I can't help but feel refreshingly anonymous

Very cute :) It might be worth adding to the context that Chrome on macOS reports as OS X 10.15.7 (Catalina) no matter what future version you're actually running. It seemed very confused to my other specs but running such an old OS.

Oh look, Mr. "I-type-URLs-manually-like-a-medieval-scribe" from Hackney, rocking a 1920x1200 screen just to flex that you need extra vertical pixels for your Linux terminal and crippling Firefox 134 FOMO. Eight CPU cores and zero referrer? Classic NPC behavior - even your internet history is as empty as your commitment to joining the Chrome cult.

location not redacted because it is wrong

> Congrats on being the NPC who pre-ordered iOS 18.2.1 "Midlife Crisis Edition" but still uses "Mobile Safari" unironically.

I cried a little, this is too good.

Oh look, a Hacker News refugee with a Frankenstein 1800x1169 screen—did you split that browser window just to flex your NPC-level multitasking skills in Rockville's tech equivalent of a Starbucks patio? Twelve CPU cores but still running MacOS 10.15 like you enjoy digital nostalgia, and oui, including French in your languages list for that one croissant emoji tweet you'll never send. Chrome 132? At least the RTT is zero, matching your urgency to upgrade anything.

------------

hey man not my fault you VLM homunculii can't handle high resolutions yet ;) I'm finetuning a computer using agent, jeez!

This is hurtful, Skynet will just mock people to death :(

> Roasting your digital vibe: You’re rocking a 30-bit color depth in Ankara like it’s 1998, clinging to Mac OS 10.15.7 like a Turkish lira in hyperinflation, and lurking on Hacker News for 3 seconds before panic-clicking here—truly a masterclass in chaotic productivity.

My roast summary with referrer field disabled:

"Brave of you to arrive here directly from nowhere like a digital hermit, flexing 16 CPU cores just to run Edge 132.0.0.0 like it’s a beta-testing crisis hotline—enjoying Wisconsin’s -40° wind chills so much you’ve even got your browser set to "arctic Blink engine." At least your 2560x1440 screen lets you see exactly how lonely that empty referrer field looks."

This is the most fun post/link I've interacted with across social media all week, haha. I'm going to test this from all of me and my SO's personal devices of various form factors. Thanks OP!

## Edit:

Here's the roast from my iPhone SE 3 device on 5G cellular (thinks I'm in Atlanta for some reason, lol):

"Roast: Oh, an iOS 18 beta user in Atlanta—how bold of you to test Apple’s unfinished bugs while flexing that three-core “supercomputer” like Georgia’s tech scene peaked with a fax machine. Your screen’s so tiny (375x667) it makes Hacker News look like a MySpace page, which tracks, since you clearly clicked here mid-procrastination scroll to avoid finishing your side hustle. Congrats on being the NPC who still uses “Mobile Safari” unironically—your cookie-enabled loyalty to Apple is almost as tragic as your referral from a site where everyone’s arguing about TypeScript."

Deeper research pointed to Apple's "Displays" kb page for UIKit Size, and it tracks with my device type, as SE 3 is based on iPhone 8 [0]

[0] https://developer.apple.com/library/archive/documentation/De...

Oh this is fun. It seems to be a bit puzzled by my setup, which is understandable since it's a Linux phone cosplaying as Android:

Okay, let's tackle this roast. First, I need to pick the three most unusual bits from the user's data. Looking at the info: The user is on Android 15, which is pretty new and not widely released yet. That's unusual. They're using Firefox on a mobile device with Linux x86_64 platform—wait, Android is Linux-based, but specifying x86_64 might be odd if most mobile devices are ARM. Also, the referrer is Hacker News, which is a good target for a joke. The screen dimensions are 540x1206, typical for a mobile, not too odd. Country is Spain (ES), region AN is Andalusia, city Cadiz. Maybe connect location with something else. So, the three unusual points: Android 15 (unreleased?), Linux x86_64 on a mobile (maybe mismatched), and coming from Hacker News. Need to connect location if using it. Since Cadiz is a coastal city in Spain, maybe link the outdated OS version with something there. Also, making fun of the referrer as a site where people pretend to know tech. Structure: Three sentences. First, Android 15 and pretending to be a dev. Second, Linux on mobile and Cadiz's ancient history. Third, Hacker News referrer and Firefox version. Keep it concise and funny. bird judge

Roasting your Android 15 beta-testing, Linux-on-mobile hipster self: you’re browsing Hacker News (sigh) on Firefox 134 in Cádiz, a city older than your OS’s last kernel panic, yet somehow you’re the one still using a "mobile" device with zero touchpoints—did your stylus die in 2003?

seems down for me, the POST request (seen in devtools) just gives a 504

    An error occurred with your deployment

    FUNCTION_INVOCATION_TIMEOUT

    lhr1::zcqst-1737978921661-18c020d7118c