A Marriage Proposal Spoken in Office Jargon
98 comments
·January 15, 2025lastofthemojito
mrtksn
It's actually a useful device when you like to pull an analogy. Instead of explaining the whole idea, you throw a jargon and everyone constructs the rest in their head and understand it and know how to work with it. The whole point of jargon is to have precise definitions, so it works as a rails and compression for ideas.
rkagerer
Jargon like that in the link makes the message less precise and more meaningless, in my view.
Just simply state what you mean. Let the other person ask questions if they need clarification.
Terr_
There is no single "just simply" though. All good communication is based on an (inherently fallible) estimate of the recipient's mental-state, priorities, and knowledge-base.
Even "I would like one head of lettuce" is a kind of jargon-lite for "I would like one portion of the lettuce plant which is found above-ground as a whole unit in nature."
mrtksn
That's good when you explain something technical to a layman, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about explaining non-technical issue to a technical person using jargon for analogy.
For example you can use P2P to explain how some gossip spread or you can say that your relationship with SO is like UDP recently.
JackFr
> The whole point of jargon is to have precise definitions
Well, not always. Per Webster:
1: the technical terminology or characteristic idiom of a special activity or group
2: obscure and often pretentious language marked by circumlocutions and long words
It would be great if it were only (1) but I’d often (2)
mrtksn
These are some effects of a jargon but the reason for its existence is precision. You learn it in an institution and then you are on the same page and there's no ambiguity over its meaning. Using jargon with a layperson is useless and could be stupid or pretentious.
monitorlizard
Jargon feels like 1 for the ingroup and 2 for the outgroup.
ffsm8
These 1 and 2 are pretty much always apply at the same time.
Wherever 1 or 2 applies just depends on how used you're to the usage of said jargon.
bitwize
Office jargon in particular fulfills a social signalling role rather than a clear communication role. It's intended to tell upper management: "I'm one of you guys, please look kindly upon me and maybe promote me!" But there's a dynamic similar to that of "U" English vs. "non-U English"[0], as upper management is more likely to say things like "Just get the fucking thing shipped. Our business depends on it."
[0] It turns out that in England, upper-class aspirants are likely to use posher phrases and idioms than actual upper-class people, as the latter are aware of their own and others' social status and have no need for verbal affectations to communicate it. See: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/U_and_non-U_English
ozten
At least post-mortems are filled with dead carcass.
ericmcer
This happens to engineers too, it sucks. I say throughput way too often in casual conversation.
lr4444lr
I un-ironically do that too in my personal relationships after many years in start-ups.
Sorry if it's offensive!
teaearlgraycold
I think ROI is getting into standard vernacular. I’ve had someone use the term in the bedroom regarding certain positions.
Dilettante_
It's all fun and games until they bring out the scrum board
macinjosh
everyone knows you must maximize spellholder value
lastofthemojito
The swarm takes 5 rightsizing damage.
leeter
This makes me want to have someone make a "Consultomancer" as a class just to read the spell descriptions.
bentcorner
> maximize spellholder value
This is such a magnificent phrase and I don't think it will ever get enough credit
bilalq
I'd like to think I minimize the bleedover of corporate/profession-related speech into my daily life, but "orthogonal" and "non-trivial" were just not a standard part of my vocabulary before college. Over a decade later, I find myself saying them a lot.
pempem
Ways to say: 1. "that's not what we're talking about" and 2. "this is fucking important you idiot"
are always valuable :D
quietbritishjim
That sounds more like maths jargon that has bled into office speak (to my delight, but I'm a mathematician).
JadeNB
> I'd like to think I minimize the bleedover of corporate/profession-related speech into my daily life, but "orthogonal" and "non-trivial" were just not a standard part of my vocabulary before college. Over a decade later, I find myself saying them a lot.
As a mathematician, both of those terms are common in my technical and, therefore, everyday speech. If it helps, feel free to think of yourself, not as using corporate speech, but as using technical mathematical terms.
treetalker
The use of "orthogonal" is now common in SCOTUS oral arguments, both from the practitioners and the justices. Not infrequent in the intermediate appellate courts either. I do an imaginary eye roll whenever I hear it in those contexts.
psunavy03
Why? The entire point of a court case is to settle an argument over a specific case or controversy. So if something is orthogonal or tangential (pick your math metaphor), that means something.
bitwize
That makes me wary. As any mathematician knows, "trivial" means solvable. "Nontrivial" means no one has solved it yet, but no one knows any good reason why it shouldn't be solvable in principle. And "decidedly nontrivial" means no one has a fucking clue whether it's solvable or not; best not try, unless you're Terence Tao or somebody, then... maybe.
So if I were your boss and you came to me casually describing a problem as "nontrivial" I'd be like... "so is the time frame gonna be years or decades?"
pc86
"Trivial" in software means easy. So "non-trivial" just means not easy. As such whether or not something actually is trivial or not will vary person to person.
grumpwagon
Another classic in this genre: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/a-deep-dive-to-...
setgree
in a slightly different vein: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/i-work-from-hom...
> OPERATOR: O.K., Robert, you understand that what you just described isn’t really lunch, right?
> ROBERT: It is lunch. When there are no rules, it is lunch, Cherise!
> OPERATOR: Did you at any point dip the green peppers in the peach yogurt?
> ROBERT: Probably. Sorry.
Dilettante_
>dip the green peppers in the peach yogurt
Reminds me of that Bloodhound Gang song
epiccoleman
Woof, this one hit a little too close to home
ziddoap
Hadn't seen this one before, it's great.
>As 6:30 P.M. rolled around, she felt sick in the pit of her stomach, like when she looked at a sentence that didn’t contain an acronym.
stuff4ben
I have queries and doubts on the proposed union. See attached ticket. Please do the needful.
koolba
You joke, but I know an actual couple that has a “family” Jira instance. They have tickets for household todo items like “Paint fence”.
I’m not sure about performance reporting but I think overall velocity has gone down despite their team size growing in recent years. I think the new members aren’t contributing much yet in the way of story points.
ElevenLathe
I worked with a sysadmin that did this for his kids, and even moved chore assignments around automatically based on grades (which he scraped from some school portal). Get a D and you'll have to do your sister's chores!
hokumguru
I find in this situation that new member onboarding can unfortunately take years
i_love_retros
Does that couple also work at the same company as product managers?
reaperducer
Ticket includes one (1) proposal of conjugal union. Action this.
xxs
That's proper corporate speak, not so much office jargon. One note: to table in the UK means to put it to vote/address, rather than "put it under the rug"
erinaceousjones
Huh, I'm in the UK and certainly every time one of my workmates has said "to table" something it's meant "let's stop fucking talking about this now"
thomassmith65
I noticed 'low hanging fruit' here is used differently than I'm used to. Where I've worked it always meant 'a task that is easy to get done'
ChrisMarshallNY
Here's a classic: https://professionalsuperhero.com
jckahn
If you don’t get the joke, you may be a product manager
patrickmay
I threw up in my mouth a little.
tibbon
"I had a visceral reaction that was less than favorable"
sporkland
Adjacent News Radio Marriage Proposal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-yGUSRdNG4
shagie
I was reminded of that when reading, went to look it up on Youtube, clicked share, came back here to see if anyone had left a comment... "search news radio" yep... glance at the query... 'v=y-y...' Yep.
I highly recommend this clip.
kmoser
Brilliant! But two phrases I was hoping to see weren't there: "reach out" and "embrace."
Applejinx
That would be subsequent to presenting a clearer ROI case across foreseeable quarters
davidw
[ Runs off screaming into the woods ]
mrandish
I recently retired early from a large, F100 valley tech company and there are a few things I miss. But this is definitely something I will never miss!
I have a long-time friend who, after years in fintech, now sometimes speaks this way unironically in non-work situations. I mean, I still think he's a good guy overall but when he recommends the DND party splits up to maximize ROI on a spell rather than just say "let's split up", it does make me cringe.