Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

It's his strategy going forward. He isn't saying he completed his 40s at the age of 41. You would prefer he share his strategy for 40s at 50? Seems pedantic.

Sometime in my late 30's or early 40's I noticed that groups started deferring to me as the arbiter of disputes and decision maker. They also stopped being as playful with me.

I hadn't changed my personality significantly, and I was baffled for a long time. Then I realized that I had become a 40 something man with a touch of grey and some gravel in his voice.

Somewhere along the way people had just automatically started thinking of me as the Boss archetype instead of the Bro archetype.

It was startling to me that my dumbass opinion was suddenly being held in higher regard due to the simple expedient of becoming old.

It's quite simple. No major algorithm, people who tinker vote on things that scratches their minds like this article does.

You can't imagine why a forum of predominantly adult men in their late twenties to mid forties would be interested in an article about aging gracefully and maintaining warm healthy relationships with their peers?

Just flag it.

I started thinning in my early 20s and by my late 20s I was hanging on for dear life to too little scalp hair.

Then one day I decided enough was enough and I just shaved my head. 20 years later I wouldn't go back to a full head of hair.

It's easier than having a hairstyle, quicker than having a hairstyle, cheaper than having a hairstyle, and best of all, any time I've gotten hot and sweaty, I can just chuck some water over my head in a sink and enjoy whole-scalp-cooling!

Lean into it and shave your head… I started balding at 18 but regret not shaving my head until my mid 30s… it eliminated all of my anxiety about it, and women seemed to find me more attractive.

Finasteride and minoxidil are a lifesaver

Embrace it, friend. Shave it all off and grow a goatee (Breaking Bad style). You'll get your mojo back and be better off for it.

Make sure you're lean and muscular before you lose it all.

This is ageism and it's rampant and very problematic. He is ageist against himself almost as much as society is.

You should not need to do anything special to be a 40 or 50 year old (or whatever) and fit in with a group.

This is one of the last 'isms' that society has yet to tackle. But society will eventually become less ageist as it ages more and more.

I'm sixty and still don't see myself as old. 41 is still young.

"Forty is the old age of youth. Fifty is the youth of old age."

The thing about 40 is, you're not old, but you see your youth dying. If your identity is in being young, sexy, fit, athletic, then that may be brutal. Depends on what your identity is in, and how you handle the loss of it.

You are surely privileged if you can make your living off indie software and are working for yourself where you have more flexibility on structuring your day, but I'd not call that "rich" in the regular sense.