I Work Best Under Stress (and My Family Pays for It)
24 comments
·November 7, 2025mtlynch
rebelchrisycom
Hi ,
Author here, first time hearing this broetry. Get it!
I talk to llm with my genuine story, it adapts to a format what it thinks people wanna read.
Still my story, just suck at formatting as English is not my native language.
Ill try and iterate on the next one.
Cheers
mtlynch
I recommend not using an LLM to write your posts for you. It makes your writing sound bland and similar to the infinite other LLM-generated posts polluting the web.
On tech-oriented sites like HN, Lobsters, and reddit, readers are going to notice the style, and it will turn them off. Generally, people on HN find it rude to share AI-generated blog posts here.[0]
You can use an LLM to get feedback on your writing, but you should be the one making decisions about the actual words you write, not just blindly delegating the whole job to an LLM.
rebelchrisycom
Thanks for that feedback, ill try to follow that practice.
Always feel like then my words feel like a scramble and haters are gonna complain “you can’t even write English“
uvaursi
[flagged]
jebarker
That is not an easy post to write since it likely doesn’t feel good to feel like you’re failing your family in this way. The author says “the people I care about most”, but what is caring for people if not giving them your full attention and best self? I recognize some of this behavior in myself and improving the situation required recognizing that (in my case) the work stress was largely self-created as a way to satisfy my ego. My advice to the author is to seek out a therapist to work through whatever underlying issues are causing them to prioritize work over the rest of life.
rebelchrisycom
Author here, having a job and thriving there is also part of maintaining the family (and make sure they thrive)
I do have a therapist as well i think one part of me decided to open this, is a healing part
Thanks so much for the comment though, truly appreciate that
ptsneves
I had the same issue and now I have a much calmer job I can actually be a stabilising force home.
I crave for my side projects and as soon as I get invested and want to pump code and deliver I notice myself being irritable and a piece of crap person. Since I became aware of it I just stop my side projects as soon as I notice it. I am sadly resigned that I am unable to accomplish everything I want. I am relaxed and happy in everything else though.
There is no trick, but a choice: one’s family or ideas of accomplishment. I wish I could do better but I feel much happier when my family is happy then when I accomplish my technical goals mostly small things in the big picture.
Another important point is that obsessive energy was profitable and now I can live slower without much financial limitation for all our family.
jebarker
What was the nature of the change of job that brought you more stability?
rebelchrisycom
That’s quite satisfying to read actually, thank you for sharing this perspective.
I share some similarities in my previous post about balance and who’s kid your raising basically a ceo’s one or your own
lukebuehler
Woah, describes me quite accurately.
It actually took me quite a long time to learn this about myself. I do need a base-line of pressure to get the juices flowing. If pressure falls below base-line, my productivity tanks.
I'm also just starting to learn how to deal with the downside for my family. It's hard. I can very much relate to the yo-yo.
rebelchrisycom
Hi!
Glad im not alone, might not sound healthy on paper, but i personally feel i can manage it.
still always want to improve this
QuiEgo
Classic ADHD symptoms. Talk to a professional.
Source: have medically diagnosed ADHD and it’s exactly as described.
rebelchrisycom
Might have to do that, multiple people mentioned it now.
Im a 90’s kid, feel we just never got diagnosed but might be yeah
How do you deal with this yourself?
localghost3000
“Don’t let your work self, be your best self.” Is a turn of phrase my boss said to me one time. He was describing his own father’s total inability to be present at home while over achieving at work. That really stuck with me. And is a mantra I repeat to myself quite often.
The struggle is real. Therapy helps. Meds might be worth checking out too as this sounds like ADHD.
Philpax
An interesting post about a sympathetic problem, but one that could have benefitted from not being written in LinkedIn house style.
rebelchrisycom
Im sorry, i use claude for formatting and it seems to think this is best
Ill try and adjust a next one. Generally just talk my story, maybe a podcast would benefit me more
FinnKuhn
Why is every sentence a new paragraph?
hyperhello
Your work friends are used to it and encouraging the behavior so you will be less competition for mates.
theideaofcoffee
Sounds like ADHD. Perhaps talk to a therapist before you tear your family apart from this disordered thinking. No job is worth it. None. Zero.
StevenWaterman
Yep. Insufficiently stimulated by normal life, a crisis brings your dopamine levels back up to normal and you hyperfocus. Get tested and medicated, for you and your family
lfuller
I was thinking the exact same thing. This is textbook untreated ADHD.
rebelchrisycom
Honestly you might be right, never got tested, this wasnt so profound in the 90’s. We where just odd ones.
Might take you up on that
futurecat
was going to post the exact same stuff.
This whole post is written in LinkedIn broetry style[0] and ends, unsurprisingly, with an invitation to connect with the author on LinkedIn.
[0] All single line paragraphs of 1-3 short sentences, https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryanmac/why-are-these-p...