Successful people set constraints rather than chasing goals

This is why I love hacker news. I often find myself falling for this stuff and thinking "yeah, that makes a lot of sense". It's always good come back to the comments and get a good old fashioned reality check.

Virtually every blog post that makes it to the front page is full of shit. They're either folksy wisdom porn, or a novice who just discovered a minor technical detail that is superficially new information to the HN audience (and leads to wrong conclusions). But the real key is a clickbait title; it's the "shocked face thumbnail" of every YouTube video made today. We can't stop clicking on them.

The "wisdom of the crowd" is a combination of ignorance and mesmerization, and the result is a front page of dreck.

Without tight constraints you get vague solutions governed by politics which tends to fuck up the constraints in a vicious cycle. Without constraints you get a sea of solutions, although if constraints are too tight you get no solutions. What you want is constraints that are loose enough to explore a ridgeline or constellation with pretty clear local maximas but tight enough to not admit uncountably many solutions that breeds worthless rhetoric.

right, the implication would be that if the goal was something easy like walking the President's dog NASA would never have been able to do it due to the lack of innovation fostering constraints.

>but is just anecdotes

While there's a hefty dose of junk, most of what's worth in life advice is "just anecdotes" too.

"Research-driven" or "scientific" insight for such matters is a joke - and often more snake-oily and based on some current fad than any crude anecdotes.

"folksy wisdom porn" hits the nail on the head

That paragraph had me scratch my head as well, but overall the article is making a valid point: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=44236665

Thanks for this comment, I'm glad it's not only me. I came back feeling like, I enjoyed the article and it was a waste of time. Classic advice, where its only use is passing it on.

> one of the most consequential decisions you can make in life is the city you choose to live in

This seems to have had the reverse effect on me. I always wanted to move to the Bay Area growing up because that’s where the tech industry was. When I finally did, I got distracted by all that California had to offer: nature, good food, an endless supply of places to go and interesting things to see. I moved there for tech but promptly lost interest in tech. I picked up a bunch of fun hobbies totally unrelated to my core motivations in life.

Now that I live somewhere boring again, I spend most of my free time learning about new areas of mathematics and computer science.

I’ve also observed the same paradoxical effect with having children. Prior to kids, I had tons of free time that I essentially wasted. But now that free time is scarce, I wake up at 4 AM to study, practice, or create something before the work day starts.

It’s almost like sub-optimal conditions trigger an instinct to fight against those constraints by producing value. If I actually get what I think I want (living somewhere interesting, having plenty of free time, etc.), it’s like I just lose focus and motivation. Go figure.

Great framing. I'd add a strategic layer to this.

From a purely strategic perspective, as in military doctrine or game theory, expanding your set of viable options is almost always advantageous.

The goal is to maximize your own optionality while reducing your opponent's.

The failure mode you're describing isn't having options, but the paralysis of refusing to commit to one for execution.

A better model might be a cycle:

Strategy Phase: Actively broaden your options. Explore potential cities, business models, partners. This is reconnaissance.

Execution Phase: Choose the most promising option and commit fully. This is where your point about the power of constraints shines. You go all-in.

The Backlog: The other options aren't discarded; they're put in a strategic backlog. You don't burn the bridges.

You re-evaluate only when you hit a major "strategic bifurcation point" - a market shift, a major life event, a completed project. Then you might pull an option from the backlog.

This way, you get the power of constraints without the fragility of having never considered alternatives.

> I would add: successful people navigate worlds. Children play games.

Seems kind of arrogant. I personally view goals and constraints as different kind of tools that are both helpful.

> Other big constraints are: marriage, religion, and choosing to go the VC vs. bootstrapped route in a SaaS business.

This gave me a chuckle. On of these is definitely _not_ like the others.

> one of the most consequential decisions you can make in life is the city you choose to live in

It's not always quite as simple as it being a choice. E.g. I might be able to move to SF if I liquidated my assets and applied for a green card, but that's not an easy feat. Where we are born & raised limits that choice to a large extent.

The definition of success remains personal. Employing certain biases, too. Being successful in World Choice and Gameplay is relative, but it is also proportional to the biases.

The way "success" is obsessing someone is a big constraint.

People make games actually because they have interest in well defined constraints, and in experiencing what can be achieve or not within some arbitrary rules.

Also anything humans do can be portrayed as some game. That’s no accident the game theory extended and swallowed so many domains in its models.

> At some point the complexity of the world collapses all your games. Then you hit your mid-life crisis.

Thanks for this gem. We're all just learning this game/world of life as we go along, right?

> I think values, goals, and constraints are all valuable, but it's a hierarchy. We should create constraints that help us become more aligned with our values.

Thank you for saying it so well.

I have found difficulty in finding my values. Writing my obituary helped: https://www.jjude.com/my-obituary/. I wrote that almost 16 years back (published only in 2020). It helped me choose my pursuits well.

I don't live in the biggest house in town, or own a sports car. But I work for 3 days a week, homeschool two kids, have breakfast and dinner together as a family, we either workout at home or swim as a family, preach in two churches, and enjoy my work. I consistently feel, I am living in a dream.

Thanks for sharing the 13 virtues. It was a bit dense to read, so here's an (LLM assisted) friendlier version.

Temperance (Practice Self-Control): Don't overeat, and don't drink just to get drunk. Practice moderation in your habits.

Silence (Speak with Purpose): Only speak if you have something meaningful or helpful to say. Avoid gossip and pointless chatter.

Order (Be Organized): Keep your belongings organized and manage your time effectively. Have a place for everything, and a dedicated time for each task.

Resolution (Be Decisive and Committed): Figure out what you need to do, and then follow through. Do what you say you're going to do.

Frugality (Be Mindful of Your Money): Spend money only on things that truly benefit you or others. Be resourceful and avoid waste.

Industry (Work Hard and Be Productive): Use your time wisely. Always be engaged in a useful activity and eliminate distractions.

Sincerity (Be Genuine and Honest): Don't deceive people. Be sincere in your thoughts and words and speak with good intentions.

Justice (Be Fair and Responsible): Don't harm anyone. Fulfill your responsibilities and be fair in all your dealings.

Moderation (Avoid Extremes): Practice balance in all things. Don't overreact, and learn to let go of grudges.

Cleanliness (Be Clean and Tidy): Maintain good personal hygiene and keep your clothes and living space clean.

Tranquility (Stay Calm and Composed): Don't get upset by small things or events you can't control.

Chastity (Practice Sexual Responsibility): Treat sexuality with respect, in a way that isn't harmful to your well-being or anyone else's peace of mind and reputation.

Humility (Be Humble): Learn from others. Prioritize listening and learning over ego.

> What will make me become someone who resembles Jesus more?

Certainly period-correct carpentry tools such as an adze, maul and cubit stick.

Marie Kondo built an entire industry around this philosophy. “If it doesn’t bring you joy, get rid of it”

As it happens, you are creating a time constraint.

To your second point: For me, the major difference between goals and constraints would be that I can clearly achieve a good goal, but a constraint is something that will never be fulfilled. A good goal is to run and complete a 10k marathon, it's easy to tell when you're done, or if you failed, potentially even measuring how far off you were. But a constraint would accompany you until you choose to disregard it. You can respect a constraint, but you can never complete it, only in the context of a finite project.

To me, a lot of this post sounds like goals vs habits, caring more about what you do today than what you may achieve sometime in the future, only that the habits are constraints here, so not doing something. In short, "leave everyone better than you found them" is something you can adhere to constantly (like a habit), but for it to be a good goal you would have to know when you're done finding people I guess.

Ultimately, what I read from this post is that constraints are used to provide identity, to help you guide yourself everyday. And maybe that's what you need more than goals if a lack of identity (in your work) is what's troubling you.

The article is mostly talking about life goals or ambitions:

“There are times when goals make sense. Training for a marathon. Preparing for an exam. Trying to ship a product by a hard deadline. In finite, controlled, well-understood domains, goals are fine.

“But smart people often face ambiguous, ill-defined problems. Should I switch careers? Start a company? Move cities? Build a media business? In those spaces, setting a goal is like mapping a jungle with a Sharpie. Constraints are the machete.”

“Do you want to be someone, or do you want to do something?

“Goals often come from the first desire. Constraints come from the second.

“One is about image. The other is about identity.

“And the latter has more room to grow.”

There is a better article hiding in there, but I think it is making a good point.

In business/investing circles, this is known as "analysis paralysis." There is no limit to the amount of preparation you can do in anticipation of a big purchase or effort, but past a certain point the returns are not only diminishing but substantially negative due to the lost opportunity cost.

In a lot of contexts, taking action with incomplete information is better in the long run than spending a lot of time weighing every decision and taking fewer actions as a result. And there are studies out there that show this.

An example: Not that I advocate individual stock picking, but if you spend 3 months researching the best biomed company stock to buy, you may be decreasing your risk of picking a bad one, but you are just as likely to miss out on 3 months of positive market-based returns that you would have gotten had you just picked _any_ company with a positive balance sheet.

The quote mentioned reminds me of one of key lessons of Oliver Burkeman’s wonderful book, Four Thousand Weeks. Highly recommend - it’s a book about happiness disguised as a book about productivity.

same for me, i see it also as a mirror of people's approach to a happy life, ie. ticking the checkbox goals: marriage, kids, career, house, money for x, etc and finding (apparently?) satisfaction in that.

while i never would or could, i live a comfortable life with a lot of freedom but never felt like i've achieved a goal. i just look for the next interesting challenge or path to walk because we have only one life, and sitting with one person in a concrete box somewhere and just sit it out would be a waste of mine.

so i constantly change/challenge the constraints/rules of the game i'm playing to keep life interesting enough to participate without falling into the hedonistic treadmill trap

I’ve always felt the same way. What’s the point of winning in a game? Why are some people so obsessed with that kind of competition? The rules are artificial, it’s somebody else’s box. You’re mostly just training yourself to accept external reward functions uncritically.

When these boxed-in competitive people age, usually money becomes their terminal external reward, but they don’t seem to know what they want to actually do with it.

The funny thing is, I think either goals or a constraint are a tool that should serve the user. Constraints that don't automatically allow the user to achieve goals they would have otherwise accomplished, and that are meaningful and important to them, are useless constraints.

I think figuring out the constraints one likes to work with can act as a great filter once someone knows what kind of success, goals, values and life they want to inhabit. Otherwise, it's as arbitrary as goal setting.

For me, I parroted other people's cool-sounding goals for a lot of my life, achieving varying degrees of success and happiness. Only in retrospect can I look at my favourite success and failure stories and consider which constraints, if I held them earlier, would have helped me narrow down to those favourite storylines from the get-go. Those constraints, I keep near and dear to my heart and attention in my daily life.

I don't think there's a way to set a meaningful constraint before practicing setting goals first. Walk before you run, etc. etc.